Dear Bean,
You are forever stuck with this moniker. It doesn't matter if you are a boy or a girl. We'll find out in a few weeks, but Bean you shall remain. It's settled.
Now, several years from now when we have "the talk" and you are curious about babies, where they come from, and what goes on during those arduous nine months, I will refer you to this post. These are the things for which no one adequately prepared your mommy (or daddy, to be fair).
Mommy gets emotional over videos and pictures of little babies and tortures herself with the stories of those children who Jesus needed with him before they were adults. I think of you and pray that the Lord will prepare you for the call He has upon your life. When I first read the story of Hannah and Samuel in the Bible, I knew I was to devote you to the purposes the Lord has for you. Your daddy and I are anxious to see you, the blessing for whom we prayed.
The doctor says you are about 10 weeks along your journey, even though I think you are a little further. These weeks have been a roller coaster for both your daddy and I. About week 6, I woke up nauseated one day and am still waiting for it to stop. Even though I feel sick much of the time, I still want certain foods. The food that I want often changes daily. Weeks 6-8 I wanted black olives and banana peppers in a salad with ranch and Italian dressing. One evening, your daddy called me from the grocery store frantically trying to find black olives (because we don't usually eat them). I cried at the thought of him giving up before finding the olives. After that night, I didn't want olives or banana peppers anymore. I craved Mexican food for a week and ate it once; that was enough. Nothing tastes as good as I imagine it will.
Everyone told me to drink ginger ale and eat crackers for the nausea. You, my little Bean, must not have appreciated it. I have figured out that Cherry Coke and sour cream and cheddar ruffles are the best at ridding the queasy feeling. I try to eat healthy other than those two things. I always want fruit now, especially oranges, tangelos, bananas, and strawberries. In fact, I think your Poppy was perturbed when he took us to dinner at one of our favorite Chinese restaurants and I consumed mainly fruit. Your Memaw was amused, I believe.
I have had some days where smells bothered me. A couple of nights, your daddy and Memaw had to finish making dinner. There was a week where the smell of human breath made me cringe. I hope I'm over that because your daddy thought it was hilarious and purposely breathed his hot breath on me. He recovered after a few days, and is doing well. Seriously, he's been a trooper, especially since I can't sleep very well at night now. I steal covers, push him to the furthest edge of the mattress, take pillows, crawl over him to go pee, and other worse things all in hopes of getting comfortable and sleeping. I think he's only moved to the couch twice so far.
What else is there?... emotions, food, nausea, insomnia, oh! yes, how could I forget...
When you first were entrusted to me to carry you for this time, yet before I quite knew it, I had a little meltdown in the doctor's office. I had noticed some changes happening in my body and my pants were rather snug. I went to my primary physician and found that I had gained 9 pounds in two weeks. This was my first clue that I was carrying you. Since that day, my weight has gone down and is gradually creeping back up. You are so small right now that most of my weight is not quite from you yet, but from changes my body is making to prepare for you. Honestly, I feel like I have a gas baby or a food baby holding your place.
All those things aside, your daddy and I can't wait to see you. Make no mistake, you take your time growing and developing. But, when it's your day to emerge into this world, I look forward to counting your toes and fingers, and hearing your first cries. If your daddy doesn't pass out, then we will be proud of him together and you can congratulate him by crying louder than him. Just bear with us; we're new at this. We won't always get it right. But we will always try our best.
Love,
Your Very Anxious and Grateful Mommy
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