This should be short, sweet, and to the point. You see, I have to get back to working on assignments, and I just needed to breathe. I received my grade for our fourth Med-Surg test on Immune/HIV/AIDS today. I failed it. In fact, I have only passed one out of the four tests thus far this semester. I'm not looking for pity, by any means. But I would love some sound advice, if you have any to offer.
I have given up so much to be here. I KNOW this is my purpose. I only miss it by a few points each time. Passing is an 80 or above. Seems like 77 is my number lately. I have to figure out a different way to study or a different set-point for my brain. I am highly distractible, especially in class. I try really hard to focus. We have rearranged our family schedule to accommodate my study needs. I have never been one to use flash cards, and I even used those for materials in charts this past test. I have tried the SQ3R method, as suggested by another classmate. It has to be modified because there literally does not exist an amount of time sufficient to complete that method of study for our required materials. There has to be something that works better for me. I'm not an auditory learner, by any means.
I have this peace that only comes from knowing that my Savior is in control. I just want to bring Him glory throughout this journey.
Thanks in advance for advice, prayer, tough love, or whatever you have to offer.
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Thursday, October 17, 2013
No Mold Used in my Making!
I know many times we have heard the quote by Theodore Roosevelt, "Comparison is the thief of joy." I believe I have even mentioned it in my blog. For some reason, it is being made very real to me right now.
I went to an AA meeting yesterday as part of a mental health nursing assignment, and the topic discussed was inferiority, and how it may have contributed to the problem. I haven't been able to stop this thought process.
"Inferiority: the belief that oneself is lower in status or quality than another." Who holds this belief? The one feeling inferior. This is a belief that one affixes to him or herself and defines the way he or she participates, reacts, or interacts in daily life. I even let this be the determining factor of relationships and standards in my own life for many years.
I realized yesterday while listening to these people that everyone has an avenue that they run to when they feel overwhelmed, inferior, or even invisible. Alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, meth, and heroine are only the few that everyone recognizes and fears. What about the other avenues? Food, anorexia, compulsive exercise, sex, shopping, cleaning, giving out of duty, etc. There are many others. We look to all these things to improve how we feel, how others view us, and how we view ourselves. But the "high" only lasts so long, and we are right back where we started, often with more guilt than before. As it was said, these addictions are only symptoms of a disease.
So what changed for me?
I had the revelation of who I am in Christ. The phrase "in Christ" or "in Him" is mentioned 133 or 134 times in the New Testament. I plan to go back through these verses every so often to remind myself of God's love for me, and what he cared to do based on this love. When a person really perceives or grasps what they have in Christ and lives based on that reality, there is no inferiority. We have been made joint heirs with Christ. Read John 3:16 over. Don't recite it. Get the word in front of you and read it to yourself, out loud, etc. until it really sinks in. Read the 17th verse, too.
There is no guilt or condemnation in Christ. There is no comparison, no pointing of fingers, no whispers of judgment. There is love, and there is an inheritance so vast we cannot fathom.
Every day is not easy, but Jesus told us that we must labor to enter into His rest. His burden is easy and His yoke is light. What is this labor we must do? We must labor to break out of the mindset we carry. We must come to the point where our trust is in Him, and we are "fully involved."
When we can enter into His rest, we are made aware of His presence with us. We can be more alert to His promptings. We can rest assured He cares.
When we know Him and trust Him, we can stop comparing ourselves to the ideal. Not everyone is going to have the same features, and that is the beauty of humanity. The differences between us make us appreciate them more. Whether in appearance, personality, likes, or dislikes, we should revel in that we are not a cookie cutter creation.
Appreciate you. Appreciate the way you look, laugh, talk, walk, etc. Appreciate your purpose in life if you know, or the search for it if you're not sure yet. Don't look to others to define you. Be who you are and enjoy it. You are special, and you have a special purpose that only you can accomplish. No one else will be able to fulfill your purpose exactly the way you will.
Don't try to hide who you are when your perception of a "flaw" could be the asset needed for success.
I went to an AA meeting yesterday as part of a mental health nursing assignment, and the topic discussed was inferiority, and how it may have contributed to the problem. I haven't been able to stop this thought process.
"Inferiority: the belief that oneself is lower in status or quality than another." Who holds this belief? The one feeling inferior. This is a belief that one affixes to him or herself and defines the way he or she participates, reacts, or interacts in daily life. I even let this be the determining factor of relationships and standards in my own life for many years.
I realized yesterday while listening to these people that everyone has an avenue that they run to when they feel overwhelmed, inferior, or even invisible. Alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, meth, and heroine are only the few that everyone recognizes and fears. What about the other avenues? Food, anorexia, compulsive exercise, sex, shopping, cleaning, giving out of duty, etc. There are many others. We look to all these things to improve how we feel, how others view us, and how we view ourselves. But the "high" only lasts so long, and we are right back where we started, often with more guilt than before. As it was said, these addictions are only symptoms of a disease.
So what changed for me?
I had the revelation of who I am in Christ. The phrase "in Christ" or "in Him" is mentioned 133 or 134 times in the New Testament. I plan to go back through these verses every so often to remind myself of God's love for me, and what he cared to do based on this love. When a person really perceives or grasps what they have in Christ and lives based on that reality, there is no inferiority. We have been made joint heirs with Christ. Read John 3:16 over. Don't recite it. Get the word in front of you and read it to yourself, out loud, etc. until it really sinks in. Read the 17th verse, too.
There is no guilt or condemnation in Christ. There is no comparison, no pointing of fingers, no whispers of judgment. There is love, and there is an inheritance so vast we cannot fathom.
Every day is not easy, but Jesus told us that we must labor to enter into His rest. His burden is easy and His yoke is light. What is this labor we must do? We must labor to break out of the mindset we carry. We must come to the point where our trust is in Him, and we are "fully involved."
When we can enter into His rest, we are made aware of His presence with us. We can be more alert to His promptings. We can rest assured He cares.
When we know Him and trust Him, we can stop comparing ourselves to the ideal. Not everyone is going to have the same features, and that is the beauty of humanity. The differences between us make us appreciate them more. Whether in appearance, personality, likes, or dislikes, we should revel in that we are not a cookie cutter creation.
Appreciate you. Appreciate the way you look, laugh, talk, walk, etc. Appreciate your purpose in life if you know, or the search for it if you're not sure yet. Don't look to others to define you. Be who you are and enjoy it. You are special, and you have a special purpose that only you can accomplish. No one else will be able to fulfill your purpose exactly the way you will.
Don't try to hide who you are when your perception of a "flaw" could be the asset needed for success.
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