Life Is Unreal. Or maybe surreal.

I am the mother of a two month old baby girl.  A two month old.  A whirlwind.  What's my name?  I haven't showered in how many days? Or combed my hair?

Well then.  It doesn't matter.  Sleep?  Who needs it?  I have a complete chunk who requires my full attention and prefers to eat more often than she should.  Acid reflux, phenomenal amounts of spit up, colic, and sleep deprivation. 

My body chemistry is off.  So off. Deodorant? It doesn't work anymore.  I smell like a preteen going through puberty.  At least to myself. Apparently, my husband can't smell me.  I could knock the paint off of houses as I drive by.  But he can't smell me.  Only I can.  Oh joy.  I may smell terrible but my husband thinks I'm sexy.  Awesome.

I cry at the drop of a hat.  Actually, I cry at the thought of it.  I got no sleep last night?  I cry.  I got sleep last night? I cry.  The baby is young and helpless and can't speak to me and tell me what's wrong?  I cry.  The baby is getting bigger and closer to the age that she can tell me what's wrong?  I cry.  I think my husband thinks I'm unattractive?  I cry.  He tells me I'm beautiful?  I cry.  Bottom line, there is nothing not worthy of tears these days.

I'm going for job interviews almost daily, so when we all get home I do laundry, figure out what to eat, feed the baby, and maybe fall asleep.  The house is a wreck.  I cry.  The never-ending cycle.

But guess what?  It's all worth it.  My husband loves me.  My daughter thinks I'm her world.  My prayers have been answered, and my heart is full.  That whole 'sleep when the baby sleeps' thing?  I can't.  I stay awake and I watch my husband and my daughter sleep.  They're so peaceful and it's amazing.  My dishes are on the counter, laundry is in piles and never folded, more times than not we've had fast food or cereal for dinner, and my floors need desperate cleaning.  But my heart is full.  And so are the trash cans, but I digress...

I have made it.  I am a mother.  This is it.   The stuff of dreams.  And guess what?  We're already talking about how it will be when we have three or four.  Because we love it!