I'm sitting here trying to budget and getting all worked up. I'm thinking,"if we just didn't have these three or four things, then BOOM!; there's my house and land!" Instead, we do have those things along with all the other things. A house and land will not be in the plans for a while.
I look on Facebook and see everybody else posting their new house and new cars, and new this and new that. And I get frustrated. I get impatient. And then I get downwind from myself, and I see what's happening.
Comparison is the thief of joy!
My daddy did his best to raise me, but he was not one to budget. On a meager fixed income, our bills were never caught up, and our lights were cut off multiple times. We had NO food many times. I don't mean like now, when I walk to the refrigerator and see all the things I would have to cook to eat, and say "There's nothing [ready] to eat." NO, I mean NOTHING. I became lactose intolerant because we went without dairy and even eggs for so long. Meat was a treat. Shoot, even rice and beans were a treat, especially if we had salt and pepper to season them with. I was below poverty level.
Now? I am not poor. I am frustrated because of the responsibilities of adulthood. I am exasperated at the athletic ability of my check to sprint right through my fingers. But, I am not poor. My bills are paid. My family eats well. I can even afford to buy my child specialty products because she has food allergies. I do not revel in her allergies, but I am grateful to accommodate them and afford her a more normal childhood.
I made poor and difficult decisions to afford transportation and education. Childcare costs also do not help. In about 4 years, things will be a little brighter in the home shopping market. In the meantime, I'll save up and enjoy the life I live. The one where I own the little place I currently call home and live here with the two loves of my life. The one where the lights are on, and the fridge is full. And where the laundry piles are ever growing.
Lord, help me to put on humility, and lay down pride. May every breath be less of me, and more of You. And finally, let your will be done in Your perfect timing. And I know it will be beautiful on that day.
11 He has made everything [a]appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, [b]yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end.
12 I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one’s lifetime;
-Ecclesiastes 3:11,12
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