I love actual patient care, but the simulated experiences always get me because it is not a real patient and we have to pretend about certain things. A pole with a box on which is taped a piece of paper does not symbolize IV pump to me, so I had difficulties. My funny for the day? Me yelling to the Sim operator (a nurse from the ED at trmc) "You better get out here or "Mr. B" is going to die if you leave it up to me!" I just do better if it's real; you'd think a simulated experience would help, and while I do learn from them, it's always because I look like an idiot and don't want to repeat that embarrassment.
Through the hectic day, I realized that I was calm and fully enjoying the day. Usually, I am anxious about failure or not being able to remember the information. Today, I just felt like the Lord was with me the whole way. It brings this verse to mind:
"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them."-Ephesians 2:10
I felt this way the first day of class, too, and it dawned on me that I am sincerely looking forward to the next two semesters without apprehension. I am nervous, yes, but not crippled by anxiety. I am 'more than a conqueror' in Christ Jesus! My main goal is to complete my assignments and studying in a timely fashion and leave procrastination in the dust.
I also have a second goal. I want to be at my goal weight by the first of March. I want to be a toned 165 lbs. I was at 150lbs. before, but I did not feel healthy and I had bruising from my bones rubbing my skin at night. That was an unhealthy weight for my 5'9" frame, and I felt my best at 165lbs. This time, I am incorporating more exercise into my routine, and I have decided to keep a food diary, starting today. I have gained around 60 lbs. since I started dating my now husband, and my self-control with food has gone to pot. I want to diary it to find out why I'm eating so much and at times when I'm not hungry. If I am going to honor the Lord in my studies and future career, I must do so in my body to be able to carry out the ministry He placed within me.
I'll probably update my progress every ten pounds. Don't hold me to that, as I may forget LOL. But it feels good to know I am taking a stand (again) for my health and future. As of right now, I can say this is the best shape I have been in (mentally and emotionally) in a long time, and it's only 'fitting' :) to bring the rest of me into line. After all, what good does a new engine do in a vehicle if the transmission is shot? The same with us. My spirit is me; it is my battery that powers my life. My soul, or thoughts, will, and emotions, is my alternator, plugs, and wires. (Other parts are working in harmony, too, but I don't have great metaphors for those right now. Maybe that can be hubby's project, lol.) But, with those in perfect working order, they are of no use to me if my transmission (body) won' let me go into the gear I need at the time. And the Word of God does the maintenance. It is my trusty mechanic that fixes those things that are broken, tunes me up when I need it, and fills my fluids so I can keep going. Why would I neglect it?
After that long tangent, I must get to work. I have four assignments to complete today in order to free my weekend up for family and meal prep for next week. In parting, I encourage you to leave anything that's too big for you in God's hands. He is bigger than any problem you could have, and His grace is sufficient for you. Remember, His strength is made perfect in your weakness. You are not a failure; you are only being refined in the fire.
Photo by Teresa Blanton
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