The last time I posted, I was not pregnant. I now have 3 weeks and 2 days to go in this pregnancy before I meet my second and last child. My c-section will combine with a procedure that renders me unable to create life anymore.
I am so excited. Not just excited to meet my little princess, but I am also excited to know that this is the last time I will go through this adventure.
In other words, I SUCK at being pregnant.
Has anyone seen "This is Us?" Well, I haven't and I've had two separate people tell me I remind them of an actress whose part in the show has her pregnant with triplets. I thank God this is not my predicament, but I will not deny my lack of enthusiasm.
Don't mistake me, I love knowing that my body was created for this and that I am able to provide an environment in which my child can be nurtured until she is ready to join us in this big world.
I just, for some reason, have not found it within myself to enjoy the gestational diabetes, the pubic symphysis dysfunction, the edema, the fatigue, or the pro soccer kicks to the ribs. And did I forget the round ligament that has been strained for forever now?
I am taking advantage of the diagnoses to make better choices for mine and my baby's health, though. She is growing on target to be 8 pounds or a little over at birth, and I am slowly losing weight after switching my eating habits.
I am excited to have motivation now. For so long, I have let myself go. I've gained weight and felt like crap for so long, and now I see the light at the end of the child-bearing tunnel, I am ready to get this extra person off of me so I can enjoy my children and my husband.
My sister-in-law is leading my brother-in-law's family in healthier choices, and I'm hopeful that the entire family will join in a healthier lifestyle.
So, 3 weeks to baby and a family of 4.
Here's to better choices, a healthier lifestyle, and kicking PPD's butt!
Saturday, February 18, 2017
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Comparison is Folly
I'm sitting here trying to budget and getting all worked up. I'm thinking,"if we just didn't have these three or four things, then BOOM!; there's my house and land!" Instead, we do have those things along with all the other things. A house and land will not be in the plans for a while.
I look on Facebook and see everybody else posting their new house and new cars, and new this and new that. And I get frustrated. I get impatient. And then I get downwind from myself, and I see what's happening.
Comparison is the thief of joy!
My daddy did his best to raise me, but he was not one to budget. On a meager fixed income, our bills were never caught up, and our lights were cut off multiple times. We had NO food many times. I don't mean like now, when I walk to the refrigerator and see all the things I would have to cook to eat, and say "There's nothing [ready] to eat." NO, I mean NOTHING. I became lactose intolerant because we went without dairy and even eggs for so long. Meat was a treat. Shoot, even rice and beans were a treat, especially if we had salt and pepper to season them with. I was below poverty level.
Now? I am not poor. I am frustrated because of the responsibilities of adulthood. I am exasperated at the athletic ability of my check to sprint right through my fingers. But, I am not poor. My bills are paid. My family eats well. I can even afford to buy my child specialty products because she has food allergies. I do not revel in her allergies, but I am grateful to accommodate them and afford her a more normal childhood.
I made poor and difficult decisions to afford transportation and education. Childcare costs also do not help. In about 4 years, things will be a little brighter in the home shopping market. In the meantime, I'll save up and enjoy the life I live. The one where I own the little place I currently call home and live here with the two loves of my life. The one where the lights are on, and the fridge is full. And where the laundry piles are ever growing.
Lord, help me to put on humility, and lay down pride. May every breath be less of me, and more of You. And finally, let your will be done in Your perfect timing. And I know it will be beautiful on that day.
11 He has made everything [a]appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, [b]yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end.
12 I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one’s lifetime;
-Ecclesiastes 3:11,12
I look on Facebook and see everybody else posting their new house and new cars, and new this and new that. And I get frustrated. I get impatient. And then I get downwind from myself, and I see what's happening.
Comparison is the thief of joy!
My daddy did his best to raise me, but he was not one to budget. On a meager fixed income, our bills were never caught up, and our lights were cut off multiple times. We had NO food many times. I don't mean like now, when I walk to the refrigerator and see all the things I would have to cook to eat, and say "There's nothing [ready] to eat." NO, I mean NOTHING. I became lactose intolerant because we went without dairy and even eggs for so long. Meat was a treat. Shoot, even rice and beans were a treat, especially if we had salt and pepper to season them with. I was below poverty level.
Now? I am not poor. I am frustrated because of the responsibilities of adulthood. I am exasperated at the athletic ability of my check to sprint right through my fingers. But, I am not poor. My bills are paid. My family eats well. I can even afford to buy my child specialty products because she has food allergies. I do not revel in her allergies, but I am grateful to accommodate them and afford her a more normal childhood.
I made poor and difficult decisions to afford transportation and education. Childcare costs also do not help. In about 4 years, things will be a little brighter in the home shopping market. In the meantime, I'll save up and enjoy the life I live. The one where I own the little place I currently call home and live here with the two loves of my life. The one where the lights are on, and the fridge is full. And where the laundry piles are ever growing.
Lord, help me to put on humility, and lay down pride. May every breath be less of me, and more of You. And finally, let your will be done in Your perfect timing. And I know it will be beautiful on that day.
11 He has made everything [a]appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, [b]yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end.
12 I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one’s lifetime;
-Ecclesiastes 3:11,12
Monday, June 6, 2016
Beyond the Negative
It is unclear to me whether it were Henry Fox Talbot or Louis Daguerre, or possibly some other unnamed fellow who first transferred a positive image onto paper from a negative. Henry Fox Talbot is credited with the feat, while his sodium chloride process was not stabilized and the images he printed via contact were fleeting. Talbot would place plants against paper and brush with the salt solution; he would then expose the paper to light. The salted portions would darken while the remainder stayed light. Unfortunately, sodium chloride is not stabilized so the images would often disappear with further exposure to light- like a refiner's fire. He spent most of his later life in attempts to fix onto paper the beautiful images he observed. Louis Daguerre's method involved a transfer of an image onto copper with a silver nitrate solution and allowed for reprinting via the copper negative.
Why does this matter? Well, I find it no coincidence that God impressed upon two men without acquaintance with each other to realize that photo negatives can be created and then used to print the positive image we now term as photos or pictures. What curiosity to look at an inverted image and not see failure, but possibility. There is quite a process, an art, to developing a clear photo from a negative. The aperture width of the light beam, the time of exposure, and sequence of chemicals used to fixate the image before drying permanently. It takes effort, skill, and precision. There are some points along the process where the image is unclear and the outcome questionable. Even an experienced photographer must sometimes trust the process instead of the current image he or she sees.
I imagine that our relationship with Christ is much the same way. He is skillfully developing us into a masterpiece. We think we look blurry, or the exposure is too long. The chemicals arestinky unpleasant, and we think we're going in the wrong order. Surely, it cannot be meant for us to wait this long before the next step. Look at that person over there, they've gone through this step and the next in half the time we've been in this step. And maybe I didn't have enough exposure because that masterpiece over there seems to have been under the spotlight forever, and the result is breathtaking. I'm not sure God knows what he's doing because this looks nothing like what I see going on in any of those other pieces. Or, we get comfortable where we're at and do not want to move to the next step. Will it hurt? I have finally come to acceptance of this step, and now I must move? Why? No one else is moving yet. Surely, this is too soon.
It is only when we can step back and trust the skillful hands with which God develops us when we entrust ourselves and our negatives to him that we start to see the beauty in the process. Maybe we are part of a collage, or perhaps we are a single photo wonder. It is not to us to worry. We are still in process. We are still in development. We all question at times, but our final image is not yet fixed. Sometimes, even when the final image is fixed, we can only see the beauty in the company of others. We provided a unique perspective or key piece to bring the whole together.
So, take heart. Be encouraged. God sees beyond the negative. And those that you saw develop quicker? Well, you didn't see the times when they were impatient and had to start the process over because they refused the exposure or did not follow the correct procedure. We all have a purpose, a design, and Master Developer.
I'm okay with the negatives, because I know God sees beyond them.
Why does this matter? Well, I find it no coincidence that God impressed upon two men without acquaintance with each other to realize that photo negatives can be created and then used to print the positive image we now term as photos or pictures. What curiosity to look at an inverted image and not see failure, but possibility. There is quite a process, an art, to developing a clear photo from a negative. The aperture width of the light beam, the time of exposure, and sequence of chemicals used to fixate the image before drying permanently. It takes effort, skill, and precision. There are some points along the process where the image is unclear and the outcome questionable. Even an experienced photographer must sometimes trust the process instead of the current image he or she sees.
I imagine that our relationship with Christ is much the same way. He is skillfully developing us into a masterpiece. We think we look blurry, or the exposure is too long. The chemicals are
It is only when we can step back and trust the skillful hands with which God develops us when we entrust ourselves and our negatives to him that we start to see the beauty in the process. Maybe we are part of a collage, or perhaps we are a single photo wonder. It is not to us to worry. We are still in process. We are still in development. We all question at times, but our final image is not yet fixed. Sometimes, even when the final image is fixed, we can only see the beauty in the company of others. We provided a unique perspective or key piece to bring the whole together.
So, take heart. Be encouraged. God sees beyond the negative. And those that you saw develop quicker? Well, you didn't see the times when they were impatient and had to start the process over because they refused the exposure or did not follow the correct procedure. We all have a purpose, a design, and Master Developer.
16 Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. 17 For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, 18 while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
- 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
I'm okay with the negatives, because I know God sees beyond them.
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Pull up a Chair, Let's Catch Up
So...
It's only been 7 months since I've blogged. Or a lifetime, whichever.
My baby is 9 months old now. And lazy. She refuses to crawl. She leap frogs or scoots, and is now pushing up. She has had 4 teeth for 4 months now. Nothing new on that front, just drool. The little amazon is 29" long and 20lb. 7oz. She wears 12-18mo. clothing. She dances, fights naps, and gives very slobbery open mouthed kisses for fun. She makes me laugh daily. I love her personality, and I'm so happy she's mine.
I've worked on the Marion Suite of the Palmetto Health Heart Hospital for almost 6 months now. I'm an early bird on a night owl schedule, and most times I feel like a tired buzzard. That being said, I love my job. There will always be "those days," but I couldn't see myself doing anything else.
My hubby, well he's handsome as always. No changes there.
And our home... well, it's finally feeling like home. It's been tough since Uncle Joe left us last summer, but Joseph is finally home and it almost feels like old times. We are starting to recognize our yard, he cleaned the porch off for us, and by Summer, I plan to make it look like we actually live here.
It's nice to actually make plans for the next short while. Even if it's only working on making freezer meals, learning how to sew well enough to supplement our wardrobes, and planning a birthday party for my chunk.
What have you been up to?
It's only been 7 months since I've blogged. Or a lifetime, whichever.
My baby is 9 months old now. And lazy. She refuses to crawl. She leap frogs or scoots, and is now pushing up. She has had 4 teeth for 4 months now. Nothing new on that front, just drool. The little amazon is 29" long and 20lb. 7oz. She wears 12-18mo. clothing. She dances, fights naps, and gives very slobbery open mouthed kisses for fun. She makes me laugh daily. I love her personality, and I'm so happy she's mine.
I've worked on the Marion Suite of the Palmetto Health Heart Hospital for almost 6 months now. I'm an early bird on a night owl schedule, and most times I feel like a tired buzzard. That being said, I love my job. There will always be "those days," but I couldn't see myself doing anything else.
My hubby, well he's handsome as always. No changes there.
And our home... well, it's finally feeling like home. It's been tough since Uncle Joe left us last summer, but Joseph is finally home and it almost feels like old times. We are starting to recognize our yard, he cleaned the porch off for us, and by Summer, I plan to make it look like we actually live here.
It's nice to actually make plans for the next short while. Even if it's only working on making freezer meals, learning how to sew well enough to supplement our wardrobes, and planning a birthday party for my chunk.
What have you been up to?
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Life Is Unreal. Or maybe surreal.
I am the mother of a two month old baby girl. A two month old. A whirlwind. What's my name? I haven't showered in how many days? Or combed my hair?
Well then. It doesn't matter. Sleep? Who needs it? I have a complete chunk who requires my full attention and prefers to eat more often than she should. Acid reflux, phenomenal amounts of spit up, colic, and sleep deprivation.
My body chemistry is off. So off. Deodorant? It doesn't work anymore. I smell like a preteen going through puberty. At least to myself. Apparently, my husband can't smell me. I could knock the paint off of houses as I drive by. But he can't smell me. Only I can. Oh joy. I may smell terrible but my husband thinks I'm sexy. Awesome.
I cry at the drop of a hat. Actually, I cry at the thought of it. I got no sleep last night? I cry. I got sleep last night? I cry. The baby is young and helpless and can't speak to me and tell me what's wrong? I cry. The baby is getting bigger and closer to the age that she can tell me what's wrong? I cry. I think my husband thinks I'm unattractive? I cry. He tells me I'm beautiful? I cry. Bottom line, there is nothing not worthy of tears these days.
I'm going for job interviews almost daily, so when we all get home I do laundry, figure out what to eat, feed the baby, and maybe fall asleep. The house is a wreck. I cry. The never-ending cycle.
But guess what? It's all worth it. My husband loves me. My daughter thinks I'm her world. My prayers have been answered, and my heart is full. That whole 'sleep when the baby sleeps' thing? I can't. I stay awake and I watch my husband and my daughter sleep. They're so peaceful and it's amazing. My dishes are on the counter, laundry is in piles and never folded, more times than not we've had fast food or cereal for dinner, and my floors need desperate cleaning. But my heart is full. And so are the trash cans, but I digress...
I have made it. I am a mother. This is it. The stuff of dreams. And guess what? We're already talking about how it will be when we have three or four. Because we love it!
Well then. It doesn't matter. Sleep? Who needs it? I have a complete chunk who requires my full attention and prefers to eat more often than she should. Acid reflux, phenomenal amounts of spit up, colic, and sleep deprivation.
My body chemistry is off. So off. Deodorant? It doesn't work anymore. I smell like a preteen going through puberty. At least to myself. Apparently, my husband can't smell me. I could knock the paint off of houses as I drive by. But he can't smell me. Only I can. Oh joy. I may smell terrible but my husband thinks I'm sexy. Awesome.
I cry at the drop of a hat. Actually, I cry at the thought of it. I got no sleep last night? I cry. I got sleep last night? I cry. The baby is young and helpless and can't speak to me and tell me what's wrong? I cry. The baby is getting bigger and closer to the age that she can tell me what's wrong? I cry. I think my husband thinks I'm unattractive? I cry. He tells me I'm beautiful? I cry. Bottom line, there is nothing not worthy of tears these days.
I'm going for job interviews almost daily, so when we all get home I do laundry, figure out what to eat, feed the baby, and maybe fall asleep. The house is a wreck. I cry. The never-ending cycle.
But guess what? It's all worth it. My husband loves me. My daughter thinks I'm her world. My prayers have been answered, and my heart is full. That whole 'sleep when the baby sleeps' thing? I can't. I stay awake and I watch my husband and my daughter sleep. They're so peaceful and it's amazing. My dishes are on the counter, laundry is in piles and never folded, more times than not we've had fast food or cereal for dinner, and my floors need desperate cleaning. But my heart is full. And so are the trash cans, but I digress...
I have made it. I am a mother. This is it. The stuff of dreams. And guess what? We're already talking about how it will be when we have three or four. Because we love it!
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Thankful on a Lazy Day
Oh so much I could say.
I'm being lazy today. Well, pretty much. I've slept horribly the past few nights and tried to catch up this morning. When I woke up for the final time, my tension headache had gone away, so I'll take that as progress.
I'm looking through my NCLEX-RN review course book. And I'll answer some questions on another review site later. It all feels surreal. I will become a Registered Nurse and a Mommy in less than 3 months. Big girl panties, here I come.
And we're moving. This weekend. An hour and a half away. We've been blessed with an opportunity, and we're stepping out on faith. We technically don't have the numbers in our bank account to support the decision, but we sowed a seed a while back and this is its fruition. We know that God "shall supply all our needs according to His riches and glory by Christ Jesus." He always has.
We've enjoyed being with my in-laws. At first, it was a little hairy. I'm proud of my husband for swallowing his pride. It's hard for a man to move his wife and unborn child in with his parents. Now, we're bittersweet about the separation process. I've thoroughly enjoyed annoying my father-in-law lol. And my mother-in-law has been great with helping me through this last leg of nursing school. It's great having an experienced nurse in the household to help me rationalize. We've had many laughs and our gripes have been few.
As it is, I have a chikawawa (chihuahua for those not in the know) glued to my right hip. I'm sure he'll miss us. He already whines at our door when we're out of town for the weekend. Hopefully, it won't be a difficult transition for him.
Even knowing the work ahead with packing, unpacking, looking for affordable furniture options, and getting Abbi's room ready for her arrival, I have such a peace. Even NCLEX doesn't give me fear. I will be successful. I refuse to allow doubt to creep in and rob my security. (Besides, the chikawawa's GI tract just robbed me of fresh air. Ugh, gag.)
This is a new chapter for us. We have made decisions of faith as a couple, but this is our biggest. I'm giddy to know what the Lord has in store. And grateful to know that He intimately cares for us.
If I can get things in good order, I'll post some pics of our first home. Before, we lived in our brother-in-law's place that was relinquished to us. We've been with my in-laws. This will be our first "just us" home. We are blessed.
I'm being lazy today. Well, pretty much. I've slept horribly the past few nights and tried to catch up this morning. When I woke up for the final time, my tension headache had gone away, so I'll take that as progress.
I'm looking through my NCLEX-RN review course book. And I'll answer some questions on another review site later. It all feels surreal. I will become a Registered Nurse and a Mommy in less than 3 months. Big girl panties, here I come.
And we're moving. This weekend. An hour and a half away. We've been blessed with an opportunity, and we're stepping out on faith. We technically don't have the numbers in our bank account to support the decision, but we sowed a seed a while back and this is its fruition. We know that God "shall supply all our needs according to His riches and glory by Christ Jesus." He always has.
We've enjoyed being with my in-laws. At first, it was a little hairy. I'm proud of my husband for swallowing his pride. It's hard for a man to move his wife and unborn child in with his parents. Now, we're bittersweet about the separation process. I've thoroughly enjoyed annoying my father-in-law lol. And my mother-in-law has been great with helping me through this last leg of nursing school. It's great having an experienced nurse in the household to help me rationalize. We've had many laughs and our gripes have been few.
As it is, I have a chikawawa (chihuahua for those not in the know) glued to my right hip. I'm sure he'll miss us. He already whines at our door when we're out of town for the weekend. Hopefully, it won't be a difficult transition for him.
Even knowing the work ahead with packing, unpacking, looking for affordable furniture options, and getting Abbi's room ready for her arrival, I have such a peace. Even NCLEX doesn't give me fear. I will be successful. I refuse to allow doubt to creep in and rob my security. (Besides, the chikawawa's GI tract just robbed me of fresh air. Ugh, gag.)
This is a new chapter for us. We have made decisions of faith as a couple, but this is our biggest. I'm giddy to know what the Lord has in store. And grateful to know that He intimately cares for us.
If I can get things in good order, I'll post some pics of our first home. Before, we lived in our brother-in-law's place that was relinquished to us. We've been with my in-laws. This will be our first "just us" home. We are blessed.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Today
What's so special about today?
Well, I made it. You did too. There are many who didn't. We should be so grateful.
I've had this brewing in my spirit for a while, and today is the perfect day to release it.
It doesn't matter what storm surrounds you. Whatever the wind that threatens to uproot you, the rain that threatens to drown you, or the thunder that catches you unaware... There is One who protects, provides, and comforts you if you allow Him to.
Right now, our storm is financial. It seems like a hurricane right now, but in retrospect, I'll smile and see how the Lord made a way and sheltered us through it all. I refuse to see the swells approaching, feel the wind stinging my face, or hear the thunder vibrate into what seems to be the very core of me. I will not be shaken.
See, I learned this lesson a long time ago. Satan, the devil, the adversary, however you prefer to refer to him... he is a roaring lion, seeking to devour. I'm sure you've heard the scripture many times before. Well, he doesn't come obviously strutting about in a red suit with horns and a pointy tail. He masks himself in light and familiar things. Thoughts.
Ever had some random thought come into your head that made you uneasy after dwelling on it? Or maybe you just acted on it and the result wasn't so great? Don't take me for one of those who believes he is everywhere or that demons have such great power. I don't give him the credit. But I do warn you to renew your minds daily through the Word. The adversary's success depends on your gullibility and lack of familiarity with the Word and its Author.
Another mnemonic that I use to remind myself of this concept and that the just shall live by faith... F.E.A.R. is False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear is the opposite of Faith. We fear because we see our circumstances and believe them, rather than trusting in the Lord Jesus Christ to be faithful to us. Have you ever noticed that in the bible, it is not our faith that we depend on? We are given the faith of Jesus Christ! We just have to employ it.
See, in Romans Chapter 3 (a really awesome chapter that lays out the basic tenets of Christianity), we are given this truth. I like to read in King James Version, but study by NASB and the Amplified for clarity and expansion. I'll post 3:22 here, but read the whole chapter for encouragement:
"Even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference:"- KJV
"Namely, the righteousness of God which comes by believing with personal trust and confident reliance on Jesus Christ (the Messiah). [And it is meant] for all who believe. For there is no distinction,"-Amplified
"even the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all those [a]who believe; for there is no distinction;"- NASB
So the measure of faith that each one of us is given is the faith of Jesus Christ! So, you may be wondering, well what could I possibly be doing to mess this up? I've wondered it myself. We are shown in Matthew 13:31,32 after Jesus spoke of the parables of the seed and the sower.
"Another parable put he forth unto them, saying, The kingdom of heaven is like to a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and sowed in his field:
Which indeed is the least of all seeds: but when it is grown, it is the greatest among herbs, and becometh a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in the branches thereof."-KJV
Get this:
"And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you."- Matthew 17:20 KJV
"He said to them, Because of the littleness of your faith [that is, your lack of [a]firmly relying trust]. For truly I say to you, if you have faith [[b]that is living] like a grain of mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, Move from here to yonder place, and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you."- Amplified
NOWHERE does it ever say "faith the size of a grain of mustard seed." Faith AS a mustard seed. The Amplified looks at the original Greek to expound. Faith that is living. So faith is given to us, and we are expected to grow it! How?
Romans 10:17
"So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God."
It's just that simple! Read the Bible, speak it out loud, listen to it on audio books, but GROW your FAITH!
If the just are to live by faith, I don't think it's going to do if it stays the initial size of the mustard seed. Nothing can take refuge in its branches if it's a seed.
I need to return to the level I was once at in my relationship with Christ. That's one thing I will be working on this summer before we welcome Abbigail Hope. I do better with accountability, and if you want, I can help you too!
In light of this, I have decided to compile a list of things, but not a "bucket list." A bucket list, to me anyway, speaks of trying to fit in so many things before death. My list will focus on life and how I want to live it. I don't know how much of it I have left, but I know I want to embrace it. I want my little girl to grow up in a home that is brimming with life, love, and laughter.
I think I'll make this list like a daily goal. As in, no matter what else I do or don't accomplish each day, these items will be my pillars that support the rest and provide the framework to build on for each day.
Here are a few thoughts on how I'll start. I'll add more over time.
1) Read a personal devotion and have prayer time with just me and the Lord. No time limits. Pretty sure I don't place anyone else on a timer. It doesn't have to be all in one setting, but can be throughout the day.
2) Profess aloud several selected verses that I claim for myself and my family.
3) Be mindful of my speech and actions; if my daughter is going to learn from me, this is imperative.
4) Read the Bible as a family in the evening. Right now, Abbi can hear even if it's muffled. We'll start her training before she gets here so it's not such an adjustment after. And Chris and I figured out that the evening works better for us to sit down together.
5) Let go. Forget being so anal over everything. Clean dishes and clean underwear are always a good start. Everything else can normally wait.
What ideas would you add? Maybe your own list if you care to share? And who wants to help me be accountable?
Graphic from faithlovejoyhope.wordpress.com
And a funny for good measure...
Well, I made it. You did too. There are many who didn't. We should be so grateful.
I've had this brewing in my spirit for a while, and today is the perfect day to release it.
It doesn't matter what storm surrounds you. Whatever the wind that threatens to uproot you, the rain that threatens to drown you, or the thunder that catches you unaware... There is One who protects, provides, and comforts you if you allow Him to.
Right now, our storm is financial. It seems like a hurricane right now, but in retrospect, I'll smile and see how the Lord made a way and sheltered us through it all. I refuse to see the swells approaching, feel the wind stinging my face, or hear the thunder vibrate into what seems to be the very core of me. I will not be shaken.
See, I learned this lesson a long time ago. Satan, the devil, the adversary, however you prefer to refer to him... he is a roaring lion, seeking to devour. I'm sure you've heard the scripture many times before. Well, he doesn't come obviously strutting about in a red suit with horns and a pointy tail. He masks himself in light and familiar things. Thoughts.
Ever had some random thought come into your head that made you uneasy after dwelling on it? Or maybe you just acted on it and the result wasn't so great? Don't take me for one of those who believes he is everywhere or that demons have such great power. I don't give him the credit. But I do warn you to renew your minds daily through the Word. The adversary's success depends on your gullibility and lack of familiarity with the Word and its Author.
Another mnemonic that I use to remind myself of this concept and that the just shall live by faith... F.E.A.R. is False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear is the opposite of Faith. We fear because we see our circumstances and believe them, rather than trusting in the Lord Jesus Christ to be faithful to us. Have you ever noticed that in the bible, it is not our faith that we depend on? We are given the faith of Jesus Christ! We just have to employ it.
See, in Romans Chapter 3 (a really awesome chapter that lays out the basic tenets of Christianity), we are given this truth. I like to read in King James Version, but study by NASB and the Amplified for clarity and expansion. I'll post 3:22 here, but read the whole chapter for encouragement:
"Even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference:"- KJV
"Namely, the righteousness of God which comes by believing with personal trust and confident reliance on Jesus Christ (the Messiah). [And it is meant] for all who believe. For there is no distinction,"-Amplified
"even the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all those [a]who believe; for there is no distinction;"- NASB
So the measure of faith that each one of us is given is the faith of Jesus Christ! So, you may be wondering, well what could I possibly be doing to mess this up? I've wondered it myself. We are shown in Matthew 13:31,32 after Jesus spoke of the parables of the seed and the sower.
"Another parable put he forth unto them, saying, The kingdom of heaven is like to a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and sowed in his field:
Which indeed is the least of all seeds: but when it is grown, it is the greatest among herbs, and becometh a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in the branches thereof."-KJV
Get this:
"And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you."- Matthew 17:20 KJV
"He said to them, Because of the littleness of your faith [that is, your lack of [a]firmly relying trust]. For truly I say to you, if you have faith [[b]that is living] like a grain of mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, Move from here to yonder place, and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you."- Amplified
NOWHERE does it ever say "faith the size of a grain of mustard seed." Faith AS a mustard seed. The Amplified looks at the original Greek to expound. Faith that is living. So faith is given to us, and we are expected to grow it! How?
Romans 10:17
"So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God."
It's just that simple! Read the Bible, speak it out loud, listen to it on audio books, but GROW your FAITH!
If the just are to live by faith, I don't think it's going to do if it stays the initial size of the mustard seed. Nothing can take refuge in its branches if it's a seed.
I need to return to the level I was once at in my relationship with Christ. That's one thing I will be working on this summer before we welcome Abbigail Hope. I do better with accountability, and if you want, I can help you too!
In light of this, I have decided to compile a list of things, but not a "bucket list." A bucket list, to me anyway, speaks of trying to fit in so many things before death. My list will focus on life and how I want to live it. I don't know how much of it I have left, but I know I want to embrace it. I want my little girl to grow up in a home that is brimming with life, love, and laughter.
I think I'll make this list like a daily goal. As in, no matter what else I do or don't accomplish each day, these items will be my pillars that support the rest and provide the framework to build on for each day.
Here are a few thoughts on how I'll start. I'll add more over time.
1) Read a personal devotion and have prayer time with just me and the Lord. No time limits. Pretty sure I don't place anyone else on a timer. It doesn't have to be all in one setting, but can be throughout the day.
2) Profess aloud several selected verses that I claim for myself and my family.
3) Be mindful of my speech and actions; if my daughter is going to learn from me, this is imperative.
4) Read the Bible as a family in the evening. Right now, Abbi can hear even if it's muffled. We'll start her training before she gets here so it's not such an adjustment after. And Chris and I figured out that the evening works better for us to sit down together.
5) Let go. Forget being so anal over everything. Clean dishes and clean underwear are always a good start. Everything else can normally wait.
What ideas would you add? Maybe your own list if you care to share? And who wants to help me be accountable?
And a funny for good measure...
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